#LoveWins! LGBTQ Bloggers Make Their Voices Heard

sharing the work of other fellow writers

WordPress.com News

You might have noticed the rainbow banner across the top of WordPress.com over the weekend — our way of marking Pride month, celebrated by cities across the globe in June, as well as the US Supreme Court’s ruling legalizing same-sex marriage across all states. (The United States now joins 20 other countries, including my own, Portugal, in fully recognizing same-sex marriage nationwide.)

Here at WordPress.com we strive to democratize publishing and empower freedom of speech. It’s amazing to see the thoughtful analyses of the Supreme Court’s decision already being published, like this excellent piece from Tropics of Meta putting the decision into long-term historical context. We’re also proud to provide a platform for all the incredibly talented LGBTQ writers who are advocating for change…

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the acceptance speech

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It’s a day before my birthday I’m finally turning 25years I have been wondering how it would be like. and now I am a day away from finding out. God has been really amazing I managed to pull through 24years without any extremely bad situation that came my way,  for that I’m really grateful and I understand it was and still is the love and grace of the Lord that I made it through.

 

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I came to realize that I use my mind a lot and sometimes its all on wrong things. I cant help but blame my mind for painting a picture that I will be happier and more loved if I left my home for the unknown… as I found myself falling for a woman I know nothing about except for their name and surname, through this time of confusion I would rather call it, my home was slowly falling apart and one evening while talking to my partner she said and I quote ” you know my wife the bible says a clever woman builds her house, but a foolish woman will demolish  hers with her bare hands” I could see that I was breaking my home apart but I thought that was the right thing at that moment since I was still excited about what I wasn’t sure of and some thing I didn’t know if it existed or not.

having the woman I call my love sad like that and speaking such words made rethink my decision and who gets lose and how will breaking her heart benefit me. im not getting younger that’s no secret and this messing around ish is really pulling me back  and as I grow older I will  meet new people with different characters and I find that I learn a lot and get to understand myself more by reading others. which is part of making my journey in life so fruit full. there were days when I cried, complained and I was hurting everyday but I figured all that was me being silly. but I really don’t regret having to put myself through those emotions,  I’m actually glad I went through it all cause now I live life fuller and without fears I  understand that some days are bad and others are better.

With all that being said. there’s one thing THAT HASNT CHANGED which is My love for writing, the respect my parents instilled in me and all values remain  though I must admit, I have changed a lot inside out but  I’m proud that as I grow older I seem to drift more closer to my Creator and I slowly learn to understand his ways. growing up isn’t all that fun nor is it easy because it means letting go of your parents as providers though our parents will always be there to bail us out but there’s an age where when you get to it, there’s certain things you need to rid your parents of. I’m really not going to get into detail of those things but I’m sure you have an idea of what I’m talking about.

and being away from parent for the first time most of us tend to forget the teaching and go awol or pick up all sorts of habits losing morals and values. which puts us in trouble most the time but lately I find myself happy most days

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As accepting as I have become there’s just some things that one really needs to pray hard about before accepting, one of those being… loving a person so much that it hurts.NO I’m not saying being hurt by someone you love I’m saying loving someone to a point where you cry, you break, AND you hurt so much that you just want to hate them for loving them. But that wouldn’t be fair as they didn’t instill those feeling in your heart. For that matter they don’t even know how you feel about them.

 

 

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With all the love filling my heart I’m gradually learning to control it and to use it accordingly because I hurt a lot of people in my process of hurting. I understand that as I put my heart to someone that may not even exist I stand to lose people that actually do exist and really care about my existence. So what I’ve  gather from this is that “inhliziyo kayiphakelwa “ meaning the heart cannot be feed. it eats where it can.

in all honestly crushing on someone is seen as  light thing to go through but it becomes difficult once love is established although in my head and I think in my heart as well YES im into to her big time but I cant put myself in  a position of maid in another’s castle when im queen in my own

so all in all this is my acceptance speech accepting growing up and changes I constantly go through….

THE BLACK TOOLS

#TheBlaQTulip….

XOXO

new season

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ok now that the festive season is done so is koze kuse (thank Godness)

 

we in the 8th day of 2015 but I’m sure you have some clue of what you want this year to look like or you know exactly how it will look like…

I know I sound cliché right now I do pretty much believe in setting goals…  GOALS I call them. not new years resolutions SO WHAT I DO IS I jot down at least five things I need to work on THAT year, and trust you me if you work hard in archiving the goal come November you’ll be ticking out the last goal to be archived. not forgetting to pray while doing all the work  cause nothing is impossible with God yeah yeah I know what You thinking #typical Christian any who that’s a discussion for another day.

late last year I found myself in a state of contentment for the very first time in my life, and just when the year was ending I fell in love OR rather should i say I had a crush and lost all the peace mmm. I seriously fail to understand how the heart operates one minute you happy then boom out of nowhere you suddenly feel like you missing something or you’ve lost something you never even had

let me tell you how it all happened…………….

so I found myself crushing on someone which I never taught id have interest in the funny part is the more I tried ignoring it the more the feeling got…

the last time I meet up with this person was kind of an awkward moment and crowded by her friends and mine. ok just to cut this story short I like this girl a lot actually I think I’m in love with her I’ve told her but you know how popular is being FRIENDZONED now days so I fell into that trap. it saddens me cause for a very long time of recovering for past heartache I never thought my heart would get this feeling again. or love for that matter.

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I know very well she doesn’t feel the same way I do or think of me like that so its the new year cut the girl some slack FRIENDZONE can it please die with 2014 I’ve never been in such a situation so I don’t know how to react or what to do.. well I know I tell God about it every night. so he will deal with it a crush she is yes but truth is I don’t wanna stop crushing on her. the way this makes me feel I seriously don’t care what who will say I just wana look at her all day every day… oh my she just crossed my mind her smile though and her eyes so clear and naughty I won der how I got myself into this crushing business oh well any who that just me sharing half of me….

im signing out now remember to love hard, pray heart ,laugh even when it hurt

XOXOXO

 

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when ones sexuality becomes questionable…

THE BLACK TOOLS

 

I often find myself in situations where I’m forced to answer questions that people have regarding my sexual orientation

“A person’s sexual orientation may influence their sexual interest and attraction for another person.” (taken from Wikipedia)

im often asked why did I chose to be the way iam … I fail to answer such because I don’t know if I chose to be homosexual or it chose me. simply because I do not confirm to the binaries im not confused about my gender identity no does my sexuality confuse me but truth is I fail to answer questions that I don’t have answers too…this to me is like asking a baby boy/girl why they are a boy/girl I mean what will the poor child say really… as for me I know I fall under the LGBTQIA family being the L in the umbrella (LESBIAN).

so apparently a person should look a certain way before they can be regarded as lesbian WOW its crazy I know just cause I put on lip stick and wear heels and high waist pants im not lesbian enough… who ever changed the description of a lesbian must be arrested I promise you.

 

 

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I never felt the need to be in the closet as many people consider themselves as being there from a very young age I knew I liked queen latifah though it was weird because she is a woman it didn’t bother me but instead I embraced what was inside and started dating girl as I felt fuzzy with girls. with boys I just saw izimpintshi, abogazi *friends* you know what I mean

I was startled when a friend from work that identifies as been butch lesbian questioned me when I said Im straight lesbian she said “pretty girls aren’t lesbo but bi”  but im nor bi never was never would be go to show that yes we identify as all these labels but we are uncertain of what they really mean or about us as individuals. I hate being judged as much as I hate being labeled or put in a corner nobody should be forced to conform to anything.

being a “pretty lady” doesn’t mean I should be heterosexual or bisexual for that matter lets educate ourselves on us and sexuality, gender and sex

 

just my thoughts share yours

 

*TheBLAQtulip

 

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Traps of the closet

coming out of the closet_The world we live in has a lot of colors, which was meaningless to me but as i grow and meet different people I realized that the color of our skin is the only color that shines brighter than all.

In the sense that when you go to a place and you find that people there are all black and you white the first thing they will notice is not the color of the t-shirt you wearing but that of your skin.

Taking this to the LGBTI flag with us  LGBTI people. Yes the color of your skin will be the first noticeable thing but then if you visible gay or butch lesbian that will also shine through as you become visible to the foreign place that not only is the color that’s different but your sexuality shines through too.

A lot of things can make a person stand out but I feel color has been accepted better and in most cases you find that you get treated somehow different or get special treatment just because of the color of your skin.

Which is a total different story when you come out to people as homosexual, their attitude towards you will change either they feel they need to pity you and take extra care or feel you are doing something wrong

Now back to me

I think in the past year I’ve moved house 3 times already with my partner and we’ve had the grace to share our home with different people with different views and beliefs so at the first house when he came out to our house mates the ladies both were straight and didn’t understand much about lesbians so obviously they became really interested in knowing what’s happening and they had a lot to ask and openinly I would answer.

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But as time went on the attitudes towards us changed the house became sour never did I think it could be related to our sexuality until one day my partner and one of the ladies had a tiff, then out of anger she lashed out and said ”this thing of yours is ungodly and I refuse to live in one house le ditabane (with gay people)” then I realized that even though people may claim to be fine with others preferences but at the end of it all they become bothered for some reason or the other.

So a question rose in my heart right after we’ve moved out if should we continue to be open about our life or go back in the closet it really made no sense to me because now being in the closet was never an option for me as I’ve always lived my life as a lesbian woman and I was never shy about it I’ve always been proudly lesbian and never had it became an issue I didn’t understand why it should be one now.

Second house we moved to sexuality got in the way yet again this time I felt like a victim of a really bad horror story but told myself that I will not run anymore and I will damn well not be pushed into a closet I’ve never been in.

So all cleared up that sexuality is a major obstacle not because people don’t know about it but because they refuse to accept that we are all different,

and its either people understand this and take me as i am or we can just be islands from one another but i so very much refuse to be in a closet its dark and smelly in there so homophobes must just chill

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relationship things

images75OC28YMI got a series of questions that I myself don’t even know if ill ever find answers too…

an acquaintance of mine once said to me “you take relationships seriously neh” I didn’t answer her because I was left confused myself isn’t that the reason to date? to find ourselves in relationships that are serious which lead to marriage…

maybe I got a messed up idea of relationships but I know I don’t wana waste my life being caught in a convenience driven relationship. I mean the whole idea of dating is finding a life partner that will complement you and vice versa. and loves will beam from there, I believe if you compliment one another in more ways than one eternal love will be guaranteed I mean why would I wana leave you if I got all I want in a woman and more???

so another question that keeps popping up is what are the reasons to be in a relationship…

money, comfort, pleasure, company and love does all these things only exist to people in relationships I seriously wonder hey.

I used to think relationships were everything until I had to learn the hard way that not all things seem as they are and convenience pretty much is a number one factor in most relationships so rounding it all up we get into relationships for the wrong reasons be it money, comfort or good sex…

 

but again contradictory as this may seem. what are the real reasons that we need to give out when asked why are you guys dating? or together?

 

do we even know why we date or get into relationships?

 

my first time

its the first day of me blogging and I’m so excited I have been procrastinating about starting a blog it has finally happened,

I often share my experiences or info on Facebook which I had felt sometimes is very limiting some stories that I need to share with people never make it to my wall. as the space there usually isn’t big enough I always have a lot to say, even my colleagues say that I’m blubber mouth I don’t mind it cause I’m well aware of that and I’m not shy to speak my mind, growing up has taught me that you owe the world nothing and what you put in is what you get out and luckily for me my mouth has never landed me into trouble but instead got me out of a lot of other things

so this blog is basically about my experiences which means a lot of different things will be discussed or mentioned don’t be surprised when you find yourself making it to this blog I’m not much a picture person but ill add In pictures as often as I can.

this blog will feature a lot of things from music to real life stories and off coarse events not just event but LGBTI events and charity work I do yes yes yes I’m so much into changing lives.

this blog will come in handy for the LGBTI people if you straight and wanting to learn more about the lives of homosexual people you more than welcome to follow through

 

hope this blog will teach you more about me and how I see this word and get to hear your views and thoughts on this

 

#theBlaQtulip signing outTHE BLACK TOOLS