Traps of the closet

coming out of the closet_The world we live in has a lot of colors, which was meaningless to me but as i grow and meet different people I realized that the color of our skin is the only color that shines brighter than all.

In the sense that when you go to a place and you find that people there are all black and you white the first thing they will notice is not the color of the t-shirt you wearing but that of your skin.

Taking this to the LGBTI flag with us  LGBTI people. Yes the color of your skin will be the first noticeable thing but then if you visible gay or butch lesbian that will also shine through as you become visible to the foreign place that not only is the color that’s different but your sexuality shines through too.

A lot of things can make a person stand out but I feel color has been accepted better and in most cases you find that you get treated somehow different or get special treatment just because of the color of your skin.

Which is a total different story when you come out to people as homosexual, their attitude towards you will change either they feel they need to pity you and take extra care or feel you are doing something wrong

Now back to me

I think in the past year I’ve moved house 3 times already with my partner and we’ve had the grace to share our home with different people with different views and beliefs so at the first house when he came out to our house mates the ladies both were straight and didn’t understand much about lesbians so obviously they became really interested in knowing what’s happening and they had a lot to ask and openinly I would answer.


But as time went on the attitudes towards us changed the house became sour never did I think it could be related to our sexuality until one day my partner and one of the ladies had a tiff, then out of anger she lashed out and said ”this thing of yours is ungodly and I refuse to live in one house le ditabane (with gay people)” then I realized that even though people may claim to be fine with others preferences but at the end of it all they become bothered for some reason or the other.

So a question rose in my heart right after we’ve moved out if should we continue to be open about our life or go back in the closet it really made no sense to me because now being in the closet was never an option for me as I’ve always lived my life as a lesbian woman and I was never shy about it I’ve always been proudly lesbian and never had it became an issue I didn’t understand why it should be one now.

Second house we moved to sexuality got in the way yet again this time I felt like a victim of a really bad horror story but told myself that I will not run anymore and I will damn well not be pushed into a closet I’ve never been in.

So all cleared up that sexuality is a major obstacle not because people don’t know about it but because they refuse to accept that we are all different,

and its either people understand this and take me as i am or we can just be islands from one another but i so very much refuse to be in a closet its dark and smelly in there so homophobes must just chill


relationship things

images75OC28YMI got a series of questions that I myself don’t even know if ill ever find answers too…

an acquaintance of mine once said to me “you take relationships seriously neh” I didn’t answer her because I was left confused myself isn’t that the reason to date? to find ourselves in relationships that are serious which lead to marriage…

maybe I got a messed up idea of relationships but I know I don’t wana waste my life being caught in a convenience driven relationship. I mean the whole idea of dating is finding a life partner that will complement you and vice versa. and loves will beam from there, I believe if you compliment one another in more ways than one eternal love will be guaranteed I mean why would I wana leave you if I got all I want in a woman and more???

so another question that keeps popping up is what are the reasons to be in a relationship…

money, comfort, pleasure, company and love does all these things only exist to people in relationships I seriously wonder hey.

I used to think relationships were everything until I had to learn the hard way that not all things seem as they are and convenience pretty much is a number one factor in most relationships so rounding it all up we get into relationships for the wrong reasons be it money, comfort or good sex…


but again contradictory as this may seem. what are the real reasons that we need to give out when asked why are you guys dating? or together?


do we even know why we date or get into relationships?


my first time

its the first day of me blogging and I’m so excited I have been procrastinating about starting a blog it has finally happened,

I often share my experiences or info on Facebook which I had felt sometimes is very limiting some stories that I need to share with people never make it to my wall. as the space there usually isn’t big enough I always have a lot to say, even my colleagues say that I’m blubber mouth I don’t mind it cause I’m well aware of that and I’m not shy to speak my mind, growing up has taught me that you owe the world nothing and what you put in is what you get out and luckily for me my mouth has never landed me into trouble but instead got me out of a lot of other things

so this blog is basically about my experiences which means a lot of different things will be discussed or mentioned don’t be surprised when you find yourself making it to this blog I’m not much a picture person but ill add In pictures as often as I can.

this blog will feature a lot of things from music to real life stories and off coarse events not just event but LGBTI events and charity work I do yes yes yes I’m so much into changing lives.

this blog will come in handy for the LGBTI people if you straight and wanting to learn more about the lives of homosexual people you more than welcome to follow through


hope this blog will teach you more about me and how I see this word and get to hear your views and thoughts on this


#theBlaQtulip signing outTHE BLACK TOOLS